Today I feel led to share something that I believe we all need to either hear, or be reminded of when it comes to not only our husbands, but in regards to any person or situation in life that we encounter.
There are tons of people walking around each day with the weight of the world on their heart and minds, who feel miserable in life, who are resentful towards other people who have offended them, and who feel powerless to change their life or mood in life.
They feel powerless to be happy but don’t know what is stopping them from moving forward in life and into the peace and joy that is available for the heart.
Unbelievers will find it virtually impossible to achieve contentment and peace and rest in the heart apart from the Lord and surrendering their whole heart and life to Him, but there are lots of blinded, deceived unbelievers who may sense a false “peace” that is from the pit of hell so as to keep them bound to their own way of life apart from the Lord. But for the most part, anyone who is not in Christ whom you encounter, chances are they are miserable inside, whether they fake a smile or not.
But when talking about believers who have been born from above that are found defeated, harboring resentment towards others who have hurt them, and who are miserable and living in fear, worry, and unrest —- these are the ones I am addressing at the moment.
I can testify that I have absolutely been found in the position MORE TIMES THAN NOT where I was miserable in my heart, totally not at rest, harboring major bitterness and resentment towards not only my husband but plenty of others who I felt wronged me, and just walking around defeated and dead, not knowing how to overcome the state of heart I was in that was causing me such ongoing misery!
Two Major Answers
Believe it or not, one of the most common reasons Christians are found in this horrible state is due to harboring unforgiveness towards other people! When you look up the word forgive in the Bible, it is not a word that we would say is found more than any other words in the Bible — but it’s quality far outweighs its quantity!
Forgiveness is literally the road to freedom when we find ourselves in this state of miserableness and powerlessness and defeat.
Just ask yourself a few questions right now to see whether or not you are not blinded by unforgiveness:
- do I get upset when my husband doesn’t do what I expect him to do?
- do I get angry when I feel my husband is ignoring me?
- do I get upset when my husband is doing something else other than giving me his time and attention?
- do I get angry when I hear the name of a certain person who has wronged me in the past?
- do I feel resentment welling up in my heart whenever a certain person opposes me?
- do I feel like getting revenge on someone who has wronged me?
- do I wish that someone who has wronged me would get in trouble?
Sometimes, we can be so blind about unforgiveness in situations that we might not even necessarily know the person. For example, maybe someone cut us off on the road the other day, and though we don’t know that person, we got extremely angry in our hearts towards them in the moment it happened. Even though the situation came and went immediately, we most likely didn’t consciously forgive that random person, therefore it has been tucked away in our hearts without even realizing it!
The other major thing in connection to forgiveness is letting go. The two go hand in hand. We can’t be freed from this miserable state of heart and life until we forgive those we feel wronged by, and totally let go of whatever happened from the heart!
We know the Lord said that unless we forgive others, our Father will not forgive us!
And this forgiving requires that we let go of all resentment, bitterness, and whatever we feel was our “right” that they have taken from us in the situation.
But HOW Do I forgive?
Another shocker is that a lot of times, Christians don’t know “how” to forgive!
What I’ve discovered is that we must humble ourselves, seek the Lord in prayer for the grace to truly confess to Him the unforgiveness we have harbored, and after telling all that we feel about the situation to the Lord only, we release it to Him, knowing that He is in control and that He sees ALL things, and that He has said that vengeance is His, and He will repay — we offer it all up to Him, forgiving that person from the heart, and letting go everything we have held onto in the situation.
This is how we come into FREEDOM from that miserable, resentful, and powerless state my friends!
And no one will say this is easy — but it is a direct command of the Lord Jesus, and He has also said that unless we obey Him, we do not love Him, and if we do not love Him, He will not be able to manifest Himself to our hearts! That is why those who harbor unforgiveness can never come into the true life and rest and peace that is only found when the LORD is present in the heart of those who love Him and obey Him!!!
Trust me, I know what it’s like to be on that side where it is all just dark, miserable, and full of powerlessness and it feels like you are a victim to whoever has wronged you. You can’t overcome whatever is happening in your life with that person and find rest in the midst because your unforgiveness has given them all the power over you! That is bondage and leads to DEATH!
So I pray friends that if you are finding yourself in this miserable condition, that you might be open to the Lord, and ask Him to open your eyes to any unforgiveness you may have been blindly or knowingly harboring that you might confess it, and let it all go to the One who sees all and who cares for you!
The release that comes when we forgive and let go is truly indescribable! All of a sudden, you feel that weight of misery lifted off your heart and life, and it is like you have walked into Heaven in your heart. Your heart is emptied of all the weight, anxiety, fear, and worry that comes when we harbor unforgiveness. And your heart is replaced with a sense of true peace, rest, and even the presence of God! It is indescribable joy when we obey the Lord Jesus and He accepts our sacrifice and fills our hearts with His presence!!!
In comparison to all the wrongs someone has done to you and holding onto resentment and bitterness, it is like you are keeping old, rotten, decaying food in your heart when you don’t forgive and exchange your own “rights” to hold onto this wrong done to you for the true, clean, white as snow heart that is found when we forgive!
There is nothing to wait for my friends unless you would rather remain trapped in unforgiveness and misery and powerlessness and death!
The Lord is faithful when we confess our sins to forgive us and cleanse us —- don’t wait one more moment! Come into the true life that is only found in obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ, that He may be glorified!!!!