Let us ask the Spirit to honestly search our hearts in this time, to reveal the things we can not see by our hearts own deceit, that we may readjust to the Lord and find more Life in Him!
Examine Your Response
When disaster, small or large, hits in your life, what is your first response???
- When you have marriage issues that seem unrepairable
- When your unbelieving spouse has an affair
- When your spouse says they want a divorce
- When you or your spouse loses a job
- When your children are not becoming the perfect little angel you always wanted them to be
- When your car breaks down
- When your comfort is taken in some way
- When anything and everything in life goes the opposite of what you expected or desired
What is your HONEST response?
In so many of our lives, our first response is to pray and ask the Lord to FIX/RESTORE what has been lost or what is happening!
The Prayer Of Restoration
Am I not right in saying that usually the first thing we do when disaster strikes is we pray and ask the Lord to CHANGE it, or restore it, or fix it?!
Almost every single person I know, including myself, does this! It is like our natural reaction to disaster, and things not going how we think they should go.
And especially in terms of marriage this is true. So many women, when their husband decides to leave, or says they want a divorce, the first thing the wife does is pray and pray and pray and pray for the Lord to restore the marriage!
The first thing the wife does is seek the Lord to fix this, and make their husband change their heart.
And what happens is that, the woman starts to think that it is up to HER to PRAY enough to make God restore or fix the marriage! And it becomes a burden on HER shoulders that, if only she prays and believes enough, then the Lord will fix this marriage and restore what’s been lost!
We have been so blinded by popular christian teaching that marriage is the end all of life, and if our marriage fails, then we have committed the unpardonable sin, and God is so disgusted that we have no chance of any hope whatsoever with Him saving us or accomplishing His purposes in our lives!
But have any of us ever actually stopped to think that MAYBE GOD HAS ALLOWED OUR HUSBAND TO LEAVE OR ALLOWED CONFLICT FOR A REASON?!
And that maybe all our praying for restoration is just a clear proof that our hearts are MORE WORRIED about our husband and marriage and what WE want to happen, than for the Lord and His interests in life?!
Honestly search your heart sister, if you are currently married to a man who is nothing what you would have wanted for your spouse in life, and think about your marriage, and how desperately you have been praying for a long time for the marriage to change, for your husband to change, for God to save your husband, for God to restore your marriage, for God to FIX everything in your life that is not going how you THINK it should go!
And ask yourself, ‘am I praying about this because I believe God wants to fix and restore everything and is just waiting for me to have enough faith, and I’m scared to have a failed marriage’, OR, ‘am I praying because I feel the Lord wills this and is asking me to obey Him in praying for things to be restored?!’
LET GO OF WHAT IS DEAD!
Sometimes, the Lord has higher purposes that we can’t see, and He allows us to remain in a marriage that may not be necessarily bad and there is not much conflict, but nevertheless, the wife feels there is a lack of true intimacy or love, etc.
Other times, the Lord allows a “believing” or unbelieving spouse to literally leave the wife, and the wife is just totally flabbergasted that the Lord would allow such a thing because, after all, isn’t it HIS WILL FOR MARRIAGE TO REMAIN?!
Sometimes, the Lord allows a wife who is truly seeking God to be in a marriage with an unbeliever who is truly evil, and who is totally defiling the marriage, and in fact they have broken the covenant long ago, and the wife is holding on for her OWN PERSONAL INTERESTS, yet she is miserable and can’t seem to find the Lord or His will in it.
Now, either way, whatever the case may be, is it not POSSIBLE that perhaps the LORD is WILLING for this spouse of ours to actually LEAVE?! Or that the Lord wills for us to SEPARATE from this EVIL person who is getting in GOD’S WAY?!
Is that so hard to believe my friends?
Is it so hard to believe that the Lord would actually WANT you to leave a spouse and separate from a spouse who is evil, who is cheating, who is abusing you, who is holding you back from living your life WHOLLY for God?!
Sisters, honestly ask yourself if this is you, whether or not you are actually PRAYING AGAINST what the Lord is actually ALLOWING in your life!
So many times I myself have prayed and prayed to see what I believed was God’s will for my marriage to happen, AND NOTHING HAPPENED.
NOTHING CHANGED, and in fact, THINGS ONLY GOT WORSE!
AND HERE’S WHY
The Lord, in His loving MERCY and kindness was PLEASED to allow my marriage to NEVER be what I thought would be His will for us in order that I would NOT put my hope and heart in my husband and this marriage, but that my heart would be TOTALLY 100% reserved for God ALONE.
Does that sound abstract and unreal? It isn’t!
If the Lord has actually ALLOWED your husband to leave, or allowed you to be in a marriage that is clearly only getting in the way of your relationship with the Lord, do you not see that it is because the LORD WANTS YOUR HEART ALL TO HIMSELF? and that this marriage, this man, IS IN THE WAY OF THAT?!
You are sitting there, praying for the Lord to change or fix your husband and marriage, when the Lord is just letting you sit there, year after year, in MISERY being married to this evil person, because YOU ARE CHOOSING THAT EVIL PERSON OVER HIM, so He is pleased to continue to ignore your prayers, waiting for you to WAKE UP and realize that the LORD WANTS YOUR HEART TO HIMSELF, even if it means SEPARATING FROM THIS EVIL HUSBAND!
Will God give Himself and His spiritual blessing to ANY person who is choosing something or someone else over Him and whole-hearted devotion to HIMSELF?
ABSOLUTELY NOT! So is it any wonder that you are still in misery everyday, not finding His peace, not finding His joy, being oppressed by this husband of yours?
(If you think I’m making this up, go and read in Jeremiah where the Lord clearly told Israel that, because they continued to choose idols and slavery to these false gods and the world, the Lord was pleased to send them into bondage and slavery in Babylon because He said that THEY LOVED SLAVERY anyway, so He would give them over to the desire of their heart and serve an evil king in another country for 70 years!)
GOD will have NO competitors! He is a JEALOUS God! And if we are TRULY born from His Spirit, and we are TRULY His child, THEN HE WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO BECOME MORE IMPORTANT TO US THAN HIMSELF!
He will be pleased to let us LOSE EVERYTHING if it means that we will turn our hearts TOTALLY to Him!
Sisters, don’t be surprised if your marriage is not working out! Don’t be surprised if your life is not going how YOU think it should go!!!
Consider it an absolute BLESSING AND MERCY of God that He will not allow us to get what we want most in this life, that we might find our ALL IN HIM and come into the TRUE blessings of Life from HEAVEN!
In my experience, and in talking to other women who have walked this path already, I have seen and experienced myself that, it wasn’t until I let go, and until these women let go their husbands literally, that true peace and life and blessing came into their hearts! We had to literally choose the Lord over our husband, over the marriage, and leave it all in God’s hands, and align our hearts with HIS WILL, and accept that He was allowing things to be this way, and we came to see that it was ABSOLUTELY FOR THE BEST, and it gave God all the room in our hearts He needed to take us on with Him and bestow upon our hearts the spiritual blessings He promises to those who lose their life for His sake!
Don’t take my word for it, go to the Lord yourself if you are miserable and constantly praying for something that is never going to happen, and seek the Lord yourself to show you what His will is for the situation. And be open to whatever HE WILL SHOW YOU!
Because if you refuse from the get-go to accept anything other than restoration, then you are already defeated and you will continue on in misery my friend!
You must have an open heart for the Lord to be able to clearly show you what HIS WILL IS, so that you can come into line with it, and obey Him, and follow Him in life, and not your own desires or thoughts about the situation!
I know it is harsh, and it sounds unbearable, but that is only proof that you are clinging TIGHTLY to something that is clearly DEAD, and in which is holding you back from giving ALL up for the Lord, that you may find Life in Him!
Count the cost, and know that if you find and keep your life, you will LOSE IT anyway!
What matters most is NOT the restoration of your marriage, but whether or not you truly lose ALL things (let go of them in your heart) for His sake, that you might find LIFE!
One last thing, if all you think about and worry about is your marriage, or your husband’s salvation, or things getting better, then let that be an indication that the Lord is not the desire of your heart, and therefore you are cursed already, and you will not see anything change and you will be miserable and lose whatever you do have now anyway in the end!
DON’T BE FOOLED, GOD IS NOT MOCKED! WHATSOEVER A MAN SOWS, HE REAPS!