Dealing With A Really Negative Man or Person

Dealing With A Really Negative Man or Person

And when I mean negative, I mean anything from just plain old miserable in life, unhappy in general, depressed, stressed, angry, sinful to the core, unthankful, and unholy. We are all unrighteous in our selves—that will never change. Thankfully, the Lord Jesus took that whole Race of Mankind on Himself as our representative—and what a Savior we truly have! Praise God!

And because we have such a Representative—- we are no longer bound to the reactions of our own flesh when dealing with a negative person. Most likely, it will be our husband. Or maybe you are around negative people at work. It could be your child.

Higher Altitude Is Needed

In Christ, we are called to a Heavenly Life right here and right now—which means that we are living in the Spirit, and the Spirit is in the ascendant over our whole being (spirit, soul, body)—and we are living our life here as out from Heaven, in union with our Risen Lord who is sitting on the THRONE!

When we are truly walking in the Spirit, meaning the Spirit is in control and governing our life in every detail, then we are able to see life and other people from a totally different perspective. A Heavenly perspective! A perspective from above, where Christ is!

When we are on the ground of nature, viewing life and people from the valley—we are in darkness, limitation, and we see no way out except by escaping. We can’t see what is really going on and what the purpose of it all is when we are on the ground of nature, or in this metaphor, the valley!

What We See From Above

When we are standing in Christ, in union with Him in spirit, we will be able to see with the eyes of the Spirit of God, and when we come in contact with those who are negative or miserable or depressed, or stressed, we should be able to see that what they are going through has no power over us to bring us down to the valley of darkness. Instead of falling from the position in Christ, we will be able to see that their state of heart and mind has behind it pride and self. Any focus on the self will lead to discontentment. It is a law and a fact.

When anyone is focused upon themselves, they will be led to a sea of pure discontentment and miserableness, which ultimately leads to negative mind sets, and words. 

Our Reaction of Life or Death

When someone is in pain, or is stressed from work or life, or maybe they have lost a loved one, whatever the case may be, in Christ, we are not bound to natural reactions to people or situations. We are able to view it from above, and possibly look on others with compassion, if we have suffered in the same way that they might be at this moment.

If a person close to us is miserable and negative because they just aren’t getting what they want at the moment either from us, or in life in general, then in Christ, we are able to understand that their desires and their hurting is not something we can change, even if we conform to their desires and wishes.

We could give them whatever they want, but that won’t change their heart.

We will be able to see that we are not the answer to their misery and woes—- and that the only thing that will come to their need is the Lord Jesus in glory, shining into their hearts by the Holy Spirit!

When the Lord comes in to our hearts by His Spirit, we are free from self and it’s own interests and desires. We are no longer chained to striving to get what we want in life or from other people! We are free to love and give of our selves because the Lord is within us and is living within us, and ruling and ordering our lives after His Spirit and disposition!

Sometimes, people who have not the Lord within need to feel that utter emptiness that fuels their negativity and miserableness in order to see that nothing in the whole universe will fill it except the Lord!

When the Lord comes into a life by His Spirit, all that is of the self goes out in death and burial! There is no more room for wanting to have what we want, and when we don’t get it, we are miserable and negative!

The effect of the Lord living in us is LIFE, LIGHT, LIBERTY! We are transformed as we let go of our self, and His Spirit comes in fuller and fuller!

So when someone negative is in our presence, we can remember that at one point, we were miserable too, and we thought the only way to escape miserableness was by getting what we wanted in life. But that wasn’t the answer—only the Life of Christ is!

And when we are in Christ, and His Spirit is dominating from within us, our presence around others should have an effect on their hearts. They should be able to sense that the Lord is here by His Spirit in us! If they are in sin, they should be made to feel uncomfortable- JUST BY OUR PRESENCE– because the very Lord Christ Jesus is dwelling within us by His SPIRIT!

They ought to be able to see the marks of Jesus: His patience, His kindness, His love, His peace.

And they will either stand convicted by the presence of the Lord, or they will have eyes opened to the true need of their own heart, which is the Lord Himself!

Follow The Spirit

If we are getting upset or irritated from a person that is negative, we must stop and evaluate if we are feeling this way because we want them to stop being negative in order to make our life better. If that is the case, we need to ask the Lord to place that under the Blood, and readjust to the fact that the Lord is in control, and it is for us to follow His Spirit in all things, which means our self-interests are not considered. If our husbands are negative and miserable from stress or other issues in their own life that they are battling, then it is best for us to be compassionate, while not allowing their negativity to pollute our walk in the Spirit. We must stand against any desire to change their mood in order to make our own lives better, and seek the Lord, focusing solely on Him, and following Him in this situation for His glory!

“I’m sorry you feel that way” is an honest remark to one who is expressing negativity because you are not doing or giving them what they want. If what they want is for their own personal interest and benefit, and it is not glorifying to the Lord, then we are not bound to give in to their demands. We are called to do only that which the Lord is doing in and through us for His glory and purposes in any situation!


I pray this might lift hearts that are weighed down by death around them, that we all might see that the Lord is calling us up and out, to walk by the Spirit in all things for His glory! 🙂



“Seeing” Christ Jesus—The Freedom From ALL Bondage!

Day 33- Overcoming Discontentment

Day 34- Murmuring = Ungodliness

Day 35- Murmuring is Rebellion!

Could He Just Be Stressed?

How Much Of Christ Is In Your Marriage?

Becoming The Wife He Needs!

The Difference Between Showing Him Love & Showing Him Respect

How To Give Your Man The Right Kind Of Love!- Part 1

The #1 Reason Women Become Discontent In Marriage






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2 thoughts on “Dealing With A Really Negative Man or Person

  1. Thanks again, Amanda, for writing words of truth that make me look deep inside my heart and mind. Negativity abounds all around us and having the mind of Christ can really be tough. I appreciate your thoughts and words and am going to really ponder them as I look at my own heart and motivations.
    Love to you!

    1. Carolyn,

      I’m so glad this blessed you! The Lord is working mightily in your heart as you seek Him above all things! His Spirit in you will surely reveal what is true as you allow Him to search your heart! 🙂


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