Chances are, there is something you desire and secretly pray about that the Lord would do, or maybe you pray openly about it and talk about it. But whether it is hidden or abundantly out in the open —- chances are, there is something in our hearts that we are desiring and wanting, perhaps really good things.
And we have sought the Lord for these things, and time has gone on and on, and we have not seen these desires come to pass. Or, maybe we HAVE seen the desires come to pass, and we have found that in the end, that good thing we wanted to see happen did not satisfy our heart like we thought it would.
In particular right now, I want to bring attention to the fact that even if our dream comes true, and the thing we have prayed for or about for a long time comes to pass, if we only wanted that thing to come about for our own satisfaction in some way, we will be sadly disappointed.
Praying For Your Husband To Be Godly
I know too many women who have either been praying for their unsaved husband to come around to God, or for those who have saved husbands to step up and become more godly in their walk with the Lord.
Although I have never been married to an unbeliever, I have experienced what it’s like to see my husband fall away and take a rough detour in his walk with God, to the point where I might as well have considered him an unbeliever. But I’ve also seen the amazing Hand of God in bringing my husband back to Himself without any intervention or anything I could have done to make that happen, and it has been one of those awe-inspiring moments where I’ve seen God work like never before!
And I feel led to share these two different sides with any woman who is just frustrated over this whole thing, and not seeing anything happening with their husband thus far.
Praying For Your Benefits
For the first 2 years or so that I watched my husband take a detour with God, I prayed and prayed that the Lord would change his heart and make him be godly so that he would love me and treat me like the cherished piece of gold I just knew I was! (Gag)
I cared about one thing in praying those prayers: MYSELF.
And ironically, when we first got married, my husband was on fire for God and through the course of a lot of hardships and all my opposition to him, he fell off the way at some point and gave up! (not that this was an excuse, but the Lord allowed it for His own purposes)!
So there I was, having started off with a truly godly husband, and then when he wasn’t doing what I wanted him to do in the way I wanted him to do it, I began to pray that God would change him and make him godly so that he would suit my needs and give me what I wanted!
Sisters, if you have been praying for a long time for your husband to either be saved, or for him to step it up in his walk with God so that you will some how benefit from it, THOSE PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED!
Let this hit you in the heart if you know you have been doing this, even if you have disguised your motives with wanting him to be saved and godly because it is a GOOD thing!
God doesn’t care about “good” things if they are only for our benefit and gain some how and have NOTHING to do with HIS PURPOSES!
Allow the Lord to expose any hidden motives in your desires for even these “good” things!
Praying For The Lord’s Interests
Now after a few years of that fruitless praying, the Lord, in His love and kindness, opened my eyes to see that my motives were completely self-centered and that He had other desires and plans that had nothing to do with me!
And He made me to see that His desire was for the Lord Jesus Christ to have His rightful place in my husband’s heart, and if I had the desire to pray for my husband, it would have to be from the motive of Christ becoming Lord in my husband’s life and heart, and not for any personal benefit or desire I had in it.
I was tested on this point like no other!! I began to see that my prayers were totally self-centered, and I had to face this out with the Lord, and come to the point where I realized that it was not about ME, but about the Lord!
And if the Lord wanted my husband to be godly or change, it was going to be for HIS PURPOSES, and not MINE!
And from this revelation, the Lord granted the grace to begin praying for my husband in terms of the Lord’s interests to be done, and not my own! I realized that the Lord cared more about my husband giving the Lord Jesus His rightful place in his heart and life than I ever could, so I began to pray for the Lord’s purposes to be done for His own glory and nothing for my own benefit or interests.
And over time, my heart became one with the Lord, in wanting to see my husband give Christ His rightful place in His heart. And that is when the Lord started truly moving in my husband’s heart and life, when I stepped out of the way, and gave up all personal interests in it and focused on the Lord getting His rightful place in my husband’s heart and life!
AND THEN I WAS TESTED!
And then months went by of this praying, and I believe the Lord was testing me, to make sure that I didn’t still have any personal desires involved in my praying for the Lord to truly get a hold of my husband’s heart and life for His glory. And the Lord proved my heart, and found there was no personal interests!
And not long after some hard months for my husband, the Lord came in with a “bang” and knocked my husband off his wayward journey and brought him back onto the path of Life with the Lord!
AND ALL GLORY AND PRAISE BE TO GOD!
God won’t just answer a prayer that we are claiming is for HIM until He tests us!
Anyone can pray for the Lord’s interests to be done, and in their heart still be wanting something for their own benefit from it!
That is why the Lord must test our hearts by TIME and waiting!
But if we are truly faithful and have yielded our own desires to the Cross, the Lord has an open way to answer prayers and show us His glory!!!! It is amazing!
But Even Then….
Now here is the main point —- even when my husband had turned back to God —- that did not bring any kind of satisfaction to my own heart, because it wasn’t about ME!
I believe many women think that if only their husband would either become saved, or turn back to God, THEN they will find rest and be happy and satisfied. But they are sadly mistaken.
If I was hoping in my husband’s return to God to bring ME some kind of satisfaction, I would have been sadly disappointed. It has not done that at all because it could never satisfy my heart which is made wholly for the Lord!
So my point in sharing all this is to let any wife know that if they are holding onto this praying and wanting their husband to turn to God for His purposes, or maybe their own satisfaction in some way, whether the Lord does it or not, their satisfaction will never come from having these prayers truly answered!
Even if the most evil man was dramatically saved and completely changed and became the most godly husband in the world, it would never be the answer to a heart that was made solely for the Lord’s pleasure!
I hope any who read this can see this truth, that the only satisfaction we will find on this earth is in doing God’s will and laying down our lives for His sake!
Let this word expose any hidden motives, and lead us to ask the Lord to create in us a truly undivided heart for HIS PURPOSES alone, that He may be glorified!!
P.S I am not claiming that there is any guarantee for our husbands being changed or saved if only we “pray right”. What I am pointing out is the fact that if we belong to Jesus Christ, then our prayers have no place to be self-centered, and that if all we are focusing on is having our own selfish desires met by the Lord, then we are going to be sadly disappointed in life. And that instead, I am urging us on to seek God for a heart that is TOTALLY given up to HIS PURPOSES for our lives, families, marriages, jobs, etc. So that HE WILL BE GLORIFIED!