“I Have To Ask My Husband First.”

“I Have To Ask My Husband First.”

One way I like to think about how we are to submit to Christ as Lord and to our husband as head over us, is by how we respond in any situation where we are asked to do something, we think to do something, or want to do something.

Being in subjection to our husband looks like submitting to Christ as Lord and like children obeying their parents!

Submitting to Christ As Lord

Above all, we are to submit to Christ Jesus as LORD. And what that looks like in actual life is accepting the Cross as our death to the whole natural life that we inherited with Adam (Romans 6), and receiving the Holy Spirit on the ground of that death, and being raised to newness of life.

Now, self—what I want, what I feel, what I think, what I decide—-is no longer. 

Now, Christ Jesus by the Holy Spirit indwelling our human spirit, is LORD.

  • He says what goes and what does not go.
  • He says what you can and what you can not.
  • It is what He wants, what He feels, what He thinks, what He decides.

How that does work out in actual life you ask?

It is like this: after you were truly born again, you may have noticed that when you went to do the things you did before you were born again, you sense inside your stomach this awful feeling that you can not do that any longer. Maybe you did not heed that warning initially, and you went ahead and did that thing anyway, and afterwards, you felt such conviction you were led straight back to the Lord in prayer and He showed you that that thing belonged to the OLD LIFE, and it is not from Christ.

Or maybe in the other direction, maybe you were planning on becoming a certain professional in the business world, and then you were born again, and you had an ongoing sense that what you thought you were going to do with your life is not what you will be doing, after all. You have a pull in a totally different direction, and you come to find out that the Lord is leading you in a totally different way than you had planned for your life, and you are literally constrained by this.

These are literal examples of what happens when we have the Spirit as Lord and it is not longer “I”.

It is all from the Lord, and it is no longer out from our own self-life and what we want and what we think, etc.

It is all our from the Lord now, and His Spirit will give us that sense inside of what the Lord wants, and once we learn what the Lord wants, we must live according to it.

That is gaining knowledge of Christ! That is how we learn Christ!

And then we grow in an increasing way to where before we do anything, we ask the Lord, and we wait for His witness in our Spirit of life or death. If we sense it is not the way to go, we listen to His Spirit inside of us, and we follow peace and life.

In actual experience, let’s say we are being asked by someone to volunteer for whatever it might be—-before we answer that person, we are constrained to seek the Lord about whether it is His will or not. And the way that comes about in the actual moment is by prayer, and by heeding the sense within you of whether it is life or death. If you sense death in agreeing to volunteer, then you do not follow that. But if you sense life, then you follow that. It boils down to following peace.

It’s like when you get that gut feeling like you should not go some where or do something or say something at a certain time, and if you don’t listen to your gut, and you do that anyway, you come to find you should have listened and that it was the Lord trying to warn you and to lead you in the right way!

In this way, the Holy Spirit teaches us how utterly different Christ is from us, and how different His mind and ways are from our own, and that is how we learn Christ and be conformed to His image, by following His way when the Spirit makes it known to us!


It Looks The Same With Husbands

Now this same idea is carried over to the way we interact with our husbands! I know for me, I always ask my husband first before agreeing to anything or even going off and doing anything myself because I want to be sure it is the right way to go.

And in the midst of it all, I learn how utterly different my husband is than I am!

There have been times where I was at the grocery store, and my husband told me to get something, but he didn’t tell me specifically what kind of that thing to get, and I had my own ideas about what to get for it, and when I got home, it turned out to be utterly different than what he needed/wanted! Ooops 🙂

See, it is the same thing as our relationship with Christ and learning His mind and His way! Our husbands are totally different and their ways are often really different than ours!

But this is the wisdom of God in ordaining the husband as the head of the wife because in and through this marriage relationship, we get the opportunity to learn what it really means to submit to Christ! We practice it in real life not only with Christ as Lord, but in our marriage relationship!


It Is The Same With Children

And even beyond the marriage relationship, we can see how this principle works out with children and parents! It is so clear to me. The children are to listen to their parents, and oh how different are the ways of a child from the parents!!!!

The child has it’s own ideas and ways and seeks to do that, only to find out that our way is NOT the same and that is how they learn! They learn by experience!

And even when we warn our children to do something the way they should, they don’t always listen, just as we don’t always listen to our husbands, and don’t always heed the Spirit inside of us—-and then all of us–children, wives, husbands, learn the hard way that we should have listened!


This is the way the Holy Spirit takes us when we are truly born again! And what a life long lesson this will be for us all!!! 🙂



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How Can You Hear the Lord Speak?

Spiritual Thoughts on Christ & Males

On Seeking God Alone For Answers

The Life of Risen Ones

” I Say I Trust God, But Then I Freak Out When Things Don’t Go My Way.”

In The “School Of Christ”

When Your Husband Says, “I don’t need you to tell me what to do”

What Does God Want Me To Do Today?







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