“I Say I Trust God, But Then I Freak Out When Things Don’t Go My Way.”

“I Say I Trust God, But Then I Freak Out When Things Don’t Go My Way.”




I think it is kind of funny that I can say I trust God, and then actually freak out when things don’t go my way. It’s funny, but not, at the same time. It’s funny because I still can’t believe I am capable of it, I guess. All it really means, though, is that I have not completely realized that Christ Jesus My Lord has truly brought my old nature down to death with Him, and that I have been raised to newness of life in Christ JESUS by His Spirit. If I am expecting to find anything good in myself, I will fail every time. There is nothing good in me!

The quickest way for the Lord to show us whether we are truly trusting in Him alone or not is by allowing us to experience something that threatens us in some way. I am starting to realize how every trial and difficulty is truly just an opportunity to either trust the Lord or myself. And depending on which one I choose will determine the state of my heart and life.

Our Hearts Can Be Deceitful

In order for the Lord to reveal to us our own heart, He must place us in situations that will test our heart. For the most part, I think we all believe we trust God and that we are able to withstand any test. We say we trust God when things are going good in life, but the minute something goes against our own plans, ideas, desires, and will, we completely fall apart.

And it’s only because our hearts can be deceived and we can think we believe and trust in God, yet we are unaware of our own self and what we are capable of, given the right circumstances.


Whenever our own security is threatened in some way, that is the time we are tested and it proves our hearts and whether we truly trust God or not.

Things that we might feel threatened about losing:

  • health
  • child
  • marriage
  • husband’s love
  • money
  • job
  • possessions
  • beauty
  • youth
  • friends
  • family
  • time
  • plans
  • freedom

It can really be anything that we fear we could lose. When these things are “threatened” we are in a position to see where our trust truly is.

Is my trust in my self or in Christ as Lord over ALL things?


 We Freak Out When Things Don’t Go Our Way

I am so thankful that the Lord allowed me to experience such a strong test this past summer when my plane got totally cancelled and I was stranded in a dangerous city. I can not forget about how people all around me were freaking out because of this cancellation. I was smiling. I knew the Lord was showing me, literally bringing me through an experience to prove that He is truly in control and I don’t have to freak out and get angry and anxious like the rest of the world around me was.

But, did I fail to mention that upon returning home from that summer trip, things all around my house were falling apart and I totally fell apart? 🙂

  • The washing machine wasn’t working and we didn’t have any insurance on it
  • The breaks on our truck went out and I was stuck without a vehicle
  • The car keys with the buttons on it was lost carelessly by my husband with all our other important keys on it

I seriously freaked out as if it was the end of the world. I said I trusted God. I had just come back from a 3 week wilderness time and spent the entire time alone seeking God. I thought I trusted God. I had victoriously come out of that airplane incident with my faith in tact. And then little things happened that I had no control over and that I didn’t want to happen, and I totally fell apart. My heart is deceitful!

After freaking out, I fell for the devil’s accusations against me, and I started searching for something good within myself. The more I tried to come up with something good in myself to answer the Lord with, I failed again and again. This was  serious tactic of the enemy to get my eyes off of CHRIST AS MY EVERYTHING (RIGHTEOUSNESS, SANCTIFICATION, ETC) and to look for all of that within my own self.

And by the grace of God, He finally led me to see that I was holding onto money in all of those things. I didn’t want to have to replace all of these things. I wanted them to not be broken. The Lord revealed this to me in the aftermath. I was holding onto money. Money was threatened, and I freaked out.

So, How Do We Truly Trust God Then?

In and through every trial and adversity and impossible situation, and even the little experiences that we might pay no mind to such as the power going out, or the car not starting on a cold cold winter day, whatever the trial might be, God is testing us and proving us and revealing what is in our hearts, and as we go through these trials, He is revealing His Power and His Lordship when we wrestle and eventually decide we have no other option but to trust in His Sovereignty. Our minds are renewed in and through this adversity!

When we come through these trials, the Lord is always found faithful!

Even if the trial ended tragically, we find that the Lord is truly in Control, and He has a plan for every thing in our lives once we belong to Him!

And then the next time we face a trial, whether big or small to us, we now have that knowledge, that personal knowledge of the Lord from the past trials, and we can remember that He was faithful, and as time goes on and we go through these trials, our faith in Him is built up and more and more we are found trusting in Him because we have learned the hard way that trusting our self only leads to anxiety, anger, and sorrow.


In and by and through these trials and difficulties, we are being reminded of the all important governing fact that in the CROSS of CHRIST, our self and all its ways was forever buried in death! And now, by the Resurrection LIFE OF CHRIST, we live! The Cross is being applied to our lives as we go through trial and error, and in the end, we come to see that our natural self has been crucified with Christ. And until we recognize this once and for all, we will always be trying to find something good in ourselves, and be stuck in condemnation from the enemy, and never growing spiritually in Christ.

Trusting God is by faith alone—and by the faith of the Son of God—- it is not our own faith. We can produce NOTHING in terms of God or relating to God. It must ALL be out from HEAVEN in CHRIST!

When we see that there is nothing good in us and that the Lord has dealt with that self-life once and for all, the way is opened up for us to depend more and more on the Lord for all things, knowing that we can not do anything apart from HIM!



Lessons From the Wilderness Part 1

Lessons From the Wilderness Part 1 Con’t

Lessons From the Wilderness Part 2

Lessons From the Wilderness Part 2 Con’t

What Is God Doing?

No Feet Stomping Allowed!

Murmuring is Rebellion!


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