I Want To Feel Beautiful & Wanted & Have Self-Esteem!!!

I Want To Feel Beautiful & Wanted & Have Self-Esteem!!!

“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness…” Genesis 1:26

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:13-14

“Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty…” Ezekial 28:17

” …..but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,  as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” 1 Peter 3:4-6

Every so often you hear on the christian radio station a quoting of Psalm 139 (see above), and the host talking about how we can know God love’s us and that we are beautiful and what not because the Bible says this about Him making us in our mother’s womb, etc.

I feel led to share about this because the Lord has personally opened my eyes to this issue, and I pray it might be an eye-opening blessing to all of us who live in a world where humans apart from God have decided not only what is important or should be important to people, but they have taken hold of the Word of God and twisted it’s meaning all together and it is causing so many people to wrongfully care about their “self-esteem” and beauty and things like that!

The first thing that needs to be clarified in this case is that when God, in the beginning, said that they should make man in their image, in their likeness, He was not talking about making a human being that looked like Him in a human form. The Bible says that “GOD IS SPIRIT” (John 4:24). So this means that, if we are to be made in His likeness, we are made in His likeness IN SPIRIT! 

When we were born from above, our human body was not remade. When we were born from above, our soul was not remade because we still have all that soul activity of feelings, desires, wills, and reasonings apart from God.

When we were born from above, our SPIRIT was renewed and it is in the spirit that we are made in Christ’s likeness!

In Psalm 139, David is talking about his INWARD PARTS—-in other words HIS SPIRIT!

So hopefully we can see clearly that when God talks about making us in His image, He is talking about our SPIRIT being renewed into His Likeness! That is where we get the term “Christ-likeness” from! We are not being made into a man that looked like Jesus, are we? No.

We are being made new in our spirit union with His Spirit, in order to express the INDWELLING PERSONALITY of Christ through this spirit-union!

Secondly, let us look at this verse in Ezekiel and see that He is talking about SATAN! He was lifted up in his heart BECAUSE OF HIS BEAUTY!

Self-esteem was literally the downfall of satan!

Think of it! It was PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE! His beauty is what led him to say in His heart that he would make his place higher than the most high! He was lifted up because of his own self-esteem. This ought to be a serious eye-opener and warning to us who think we have any justification in the whole “Self-esteem” business that has taken over everything these days! All self-esteem does is make our heart’s proud! It takes away from the glory of GOD! We can’t be proud and glorify God at the same time! Pride belongs to the kingdom of SATAN, not the kingdom of HEAVEN!

Thirdly, we are told specifically in 1 Peter that what God puts a priceless price tag on is NOT OUR OUTWARD APPEARANCE, but our INNER MAN OF OUR HEART (OUR SPIRIT)! He is talking about CHARACTER—the character of CHRIST IN US! That is what is most precious to God!

No one will think that I am saying we should be purposefully unattractive. What I am trying to say is that, in the first place, all this self-esteem business is SATANIC, and has NOTHING to do with God! God would have us SELF-LESS, not SELF-CONSCIOUS! And when it is like that, and the Spirit of Christ is truly developed in us, that is what is beautiful in the sight of God!

We all know that there can be a beautifully attractive person on the outside that is just totally corrupted on the inside and what is the value of that? We would all sooner have the person who is Christlike in our life than just someone nice to look at for the pleasure of the eye’s sake!

Letting Go Of The Lie!

I wouldn’t minimize in any way a woman being mistreated by others causing her to feel that she is worthless. That is obviously not ok, and it would be great if all people in our lives treated us kindly, but that is not reality. We live in a broken, fallen world. And our parents were imperfect. We are imperfect. And everyone else who was born into this world is imperfect, and unless they experienced the Cross of Christ and died to their old nature and put on Christ, they probably didn’t treat us very nicely.

But that is no excuse for us to spend our lives obsessing about how we look and wanting to feel some kind of self-esteem!

And to obsess about wanting to feel beautiful and wanted and loved! We know we are loved because Jesus Christ died on the Cross to make the way back to God. If that isn’t love, then I don’t know what kind of love you are looking for! Are you wanting to feel beautiful? Are you wanting to draw attention to yourself?

Those are marks of SATAN, and not CHRIST!

When we are in Christ, we are not focused on our SELF at ALL—- and we seek to stay Hidden in Christ! We want to express CHRIST, not our SELVES!

What it comes down to friends is this, are we willing to see that for us to be caught up in how we look and all this self-esteem business is actually SATANIC?

These bodies of flesh are going to PERISH one day. They are not being taken with us in the end! We will be given a NEW spiritual body the Bible says!

Traps of Beauty

In my experience, there are many snares of having outward beauty! Women who are pretty according to the world’s standards usually become hot-headed and prideful. They literally rely on their looks in life to get them through things. They rely on their beauty to get them out of speeding tickets. Some women sell their beauty for easy money. Some women trust in their beauty to get them a job somewhere. Others rely on their looks to get them a husband or whatever they want in this life. They think their beauty is responsible for how other people treat them better, etc. This is not the way of Christ!

Looks can’t save your life! Only Christ can! And it is in the SPIRIT that the Lord wants to make us into His image! In our new nature, our character. Those are the things that count with the Lord, and not all this outward showy stuff!


If that is God’s purpose, where does any self-esteem come in?


I pray any who read this might be delivered from this worldly idea about self-esteem and how it has infiltrated the Body and led so many people astray! Let us turn back to CHRIST and seek for Him to create in us His likeness in SPIRIT, that the world may see HIM in us, and not our self in any way!

“Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.”


It’s All About ME, Right?

Hidden In Christ

Putting Our Problem In Proper Perspective

God’s Intention From Eternity & How It Related To Us Who Are In Him!

Becoming Christ-Like Women

What Is The New Life In Christ Really All About?

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8 thoughts on “I Want To Feel Beautiful & Wanted & Have Self-Esteem!!!

  1. Growing up I was always told how pretty I was so I’ve always measured my self worth by comparing myself to other “beautiful” women. It wasn’t until I began my new life in the spirit that I realized how UGLY I truly was. For years, people would tell me that I was beautiful but I just couldn’t see because I was greived from the inside (about my character) which came off as low self esteem. Today, I do find beauty in humility and the things I once recognized as beautiful are just.. disturbing to me. Anyway, I REALLY enjoyed this post as I’m pursuing biblical womanhood because I do find myself thinking that my outward appearance is responsible for the way other people treat me. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Brandi,

      When the Lord showed me that He is Spirit, and that we are made into His likeness in spirit, everything I ever thought and believed to be true about beauty, self-esteem, self-worth, etc. etc. all fell to the ground as rubbish and lies! It has become so widespread about self-esteem and self everything, even so called Christianity has embraced this lie and sought to deal with the heart problems of professing believers with this man-made philosophy. Having more self-esteem doesn’t create newness of life in us. Having self-esteem only keeps us occupied with our selves, and that is what the devil wants, not the Lord. If we are born from above, we have been crucified to our self, and the world!

      I do believe that it can damage a woman from younger years to be constantly told she is worthless and ugly and any other criticisms out there. However, once we are born from above and filled with the Spirit of God, those things don’t matter anymore. Those were lies we believed. Or on the other side of it, perhaps we were always told we were beautiful, and that used to be what we relied on in life. I was like that 10 years ago. Relying on my outward beauty for things. But where did that really get me? Certainly not to true heart satisfaction, etc. All it did was puff me up and make me feel like I was better and deserved the world from those around me. That is not Christ, that is satan for sure!!!!

      And now being married, my husband has made it clear that my outward beauty means NOTHING to him if my heart is not right or if my attitude and behavior is ugly. And that confirms that having a meek (selfless) and quiet spirit is of the MOST value in life to God and my husband at least! 🙂

      So glad this was a blessing! I am also enjoying your posts about these things!

      Lots of love!


  2. Hi Amanda.

    Will you elaborate a little more on the quote: “Beautiful things don’t ask for attention”? I know the Bible says that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. It seems men of the world and believers, both, look on the outward appearance of a woman. What is a single woman to do? I am a tall, single woman who loves Jesus, but I don’t seem to have the look to attract godly men. I tell myself that my love for Jesus will cause me to radiate His beauty, but after so many years of singlesness, I wonder if that is enough. Praying that Jesus will satisfy my longing to be desired and found beauty – because He says I am.

    1. Karen,

      I totally understand how you feel! And that quote, meaning that if we have a meek and quiet spirit, which is worth more than any outward beauty to God, it means that we are selfless—-we are not seeking attention for ourselves, to feel some kind of way. Beautiful things (meek and quiet spirit) don’t ask for attention because they are selfless! 🙂

      And as far as being single and attracting godly men, check out this post that I shared on April’s single girl site!

      It is literally about this issue you brought up, but maybe not so much in the way it related to myself in the past. I also had a hard time attracting godly men, but for specific reasons which you will read about in that post! 🙂

      You are definitely not alone, and although it seems like outward beauty is what matters, I promise you it is NOT. Looks alone can not get us a husband, or do anything. Even if we were the prettiest girl in the entire world, miss america or something—-it still would not fill the void in our hearts that can only be filled with the satisfaction of the Life of Christ in us!

      I am not saying it is wrong to be attractive or to appear attractive in outward appearance—– what I am sharing in this post is that we can be deceived into thinking that we need some kind of self-esteem or to feel beautiful and wanted in order to be content in life, in order to be able to do and be what God requires, it is just not true!

      Being single and alone is a very real thing, trust me I have been there! I thought it was hopeless for me. But the Lord led me to one of His sons, and here I am! Nothing is impossible when God is ruling and ordering our lives!

      I pray you might also search April’s single girl site—she has so many good posts about being single, attracting godly men, etc. etc.!!!

      Lots of love,


  3. Thanks, Amanda for responding to my question. I will seek the Lord for that meek and quiet spirit and leave the other matter – attracting a godly man – to Him. God bless you.

    1. Karen,

      You are welcome! And I just wanted to add that, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be married or anything like that. But in the end, if we are not careful, we will end up in marriage expecting our husbands to make us feel loved and wanted and all those types of things, and honestly, our husbands can NEVER satisfy our hearts! Only Christ can. So even if you do find a real man of God and marry him, he will never be able to meet those desires that you have. Those desires point to a deeper issue and longing that can only be filled with the Lord and His Spirit. No amount of male attention in this world will make our lives better, or satisfy our hearts! That is the biggest trap that so many of us wives have faced, is wanting to feel loved and wanted by our husbands, and we seek this from them and it totally pushes our husbands away. But when we are not focusing on ourselves like that, and we are content, and joyful in the Lord, we find that our husbands come closer to us, and do actually show more attention and affection! It is a paradox I guess! 🙂

      I am so thankful you are turning to the Lord in all these matters, that is the only way to go sister!!!

      Lots of love,

  4. Amanda,

    I know that a wife should ultimately find her love needs in Christ. But shouldn’t her husband to a lesser degree make her feel loved and desired by him?

    1. Karen,

      Absolutely! But what would you believe would satisfy those desires from a husband? I guess it comes down to how we perceive that our husband loves us and desires us! A lot of times, men show love and that they desire us in totally opposite ways that we want them to! Marriage is a lot of adjusting. I had to personally realize that my husband was showing me he loved me in ways that I never thought would mean he loved me and desired to be with me, etc. I had to adjust to that knowledge once the Lord showed me.

      For example, before the Lord opened my eyes to this, I wanted my husband to show me he loved me by talking to me a lot, being affectionate (hugs, cuddling, etc.), by spending all his free time with me, etc. But in reality, my husband isn’t a woman, and he doesn’t show he loves me and desires me in that way. I learned that his way of showing he loves me and wants to be with me is by the fact that he goes to work everyday for our family. He fixes things that are broken at home. He takes care of all that man stuff, and in his eyes, that is his way of showing me his undying love for me. I would have NEVER guessed that was what he was doing to show me he loves me! But once I saw it, I let go of all those other things. Don’t get me wrong, I had to share with him that I would like for him to also adjust to the fact that I feel most loved and wanted when he gives me a random hug, cuddling on the couch, etc. And he has also made the effort to adjust in that way. So we both had to adjust in order to find the place where we were both growing closer!

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