What a battle this is….of letting go of what WE want! I don’t know of any other harder battles to fight in this new life in Christ than the battle of letting go of what I want! And sadly, I wasted so many years friends, on not realizing that this is what the Lord was seeking to do in me all the years I fought against Him and His will. All the years I tried to make my way happen. All the years I spent in resentment, bitterness, and created conflicts and strife in my relationships all because I was not seeing that the Lord was trying to teach me the Law of Life in Christ: letting go!
And now that the Lord has opened my eyes over the past few years to His desire of me letting go, when the battle comes around again, I do see that this is the answer, but I assure you, it doesn’t make the battle any less harder! Or letting go any easier! It is just as hard, only now, I know what to do!
One would think the Lord would gladly allow us to just be able to just let it all go when we see that is the key, yet this is not so!
The Battle Of Letting Go
Have you ever truly faced the Lord as He opened your eyes to the fact that you were holding onto something, and not willing to let it go and accept His will? If you have never experienced this battle, let me try to explain, by the Spirit’s leading, what happens when the Lord is trying to show us that there is something in our life that our heart is far too attached to and that He is trying to lead us to let it go for the sake of Christ and His purposes!
- When we are blindly holding onto something that we want, what happens at first is we start to feel a disconnect to God. If we regularly seek His face and have a true walk with Him each day, He will allow us to feel a sort of disconnect to Him. (There are other reasons/factors that we may feel the disconnect, but for right now, I am focusing on this battle of letting go).
- We will start to not feel so happy inside, not so peaceful perhaps, and we will begin to feel like something is wrong.
- Our thoughts will turn from the Lord onto whatever it is we are holding onto, and we will begin without realizing it to start to try to figure out ways to keep whatever it is that is being threatened or that we are blindly giving a place to in our hearts that belongs to the Lord alone.
- A lot of times, the battle becomes very real when the thing we are holding onto becomes threatened, or even lost suddenly. That is when the truth of our hearts comes out, and we start to see ourselves becoming more and more anxious about the thing, and more zealous to protect it and keep hold of it.
- If what we are holding onto is being threatened by another person, we will start to become very bitter and resentful towards that person, and start attacking them almost on an inconceivable level!
We will feel very very upset and unhappy because we are facing the loss of something we are seeking to hold onto for dear life!
I’ll give a real life example to help any see this battle of letting go more clearly:
Before I was even truly born from above, I had my son with my on and off highschool boyfriend (who ultimately ended up deciding that he didn’t want to be married to me, and married someone else, having 2 more children, while I stayed to take care of my baby alone clear across the country). But little did I know, this would turn out to become the biggest battle of letting go that I ever faced thus far in my life!
The first year I had my son is when the Lord began to call me, though I was very very slow to hear and to respond. But the call was there, and ultimately, the call was heard, and followed (PRAISE GOD ALONE)! But in this first year, I was the most miserable I’ve ever been in my life. I was left with my son, totally deprived of my 21 year old college life, sitting at my parents house with not another soul in the world to look to for comfort. I was very bitter and resentful towards his father and his new girlfriend who became his wife, and I didn’t hesitate to make my anger known on a daily basis to them!
Eventually, about 6 months later, the Lord ironically started speaking to me through Joel Osteen (Yikes, I know!) and I even read one of his ‘happy life’ books (lol) — and I remember specifically that he had written that in order for us to truly find happiness in life, we needed to focus ALL our attention on GOD and Christ (just proves God can use anyone or anything to speak to us if we are truly open to hear Him!) This was the truth friends, and even if I was in my completely weak and immature and maybe unborn state of mind, it proved to be true when I exercised it with all my might. I began consciously focusing my thoughts on the Lord, and not on my ex and the situation I was in, and I was delivered for a short time from the bitter thoughts and miserable life existence I was then in!
Fast forward to hearing the Lord and truly answering the call, and to when the Lord had my heart’s attention for the first time in my life. My son was around 3 years old, and after that many years, and having had my own new relationships in life and a career and different things to distract me, I had to some degree “let go” of the fact that I did not get what I so wanted in life, which was to be married to my son’s father so that my son could have a father in the first place, and that we could be the little happy family that I dreamed of since I was 17 years old with this guy.
But I hadn’t TRULY let go. This became apparent whenever I would see his father, which was about once a year when he came to visit his son, and all the old feelings of hurt would resurface and I would again lament over the loss of what I so wanted in life.
Even though I didn’t “get” or even “have” what I wanted, the thing was still in my heart and my heart was so attached to it, and this is what the Lord would seek to free me from!
So don’t be fooled into thinking that our hearts are free from anything just because we don’t physically have it or because we didn’t get it or attain it. Our hearts can be totally consumed with the thing we don’t have, and with things we do currently posses, and that is what makes it evil and why the Lord leads us down the path of the Cross where we let it all go FROM THE HEART that the Lord might have His rightful place in it!
So after another year, it came to a breaking point. I had separated myself from the known sins that I had been living in. I let go of my unsaved boyfriend, smoking, drinking, all the outward evils that we know are just wrong. But in my heart was this strong attachment to my son’s father, even though he was married with other kids, and living across the country. My heart still wanted to get what it wanted.
And at some point, ironically, about 2 months before I met my husband, the Lord led me to the tipping and breaking point over my son’s father, and He opened my eyes to see that unless I let this guy go FROM MY HEART, and all attachments thereto, He would never be able to free me and lead me ON with Himself, and into the purposes and plans HE had for my life!
See, that is what we don’t get friends! The Lord has SOMETHING BETTER than we could EVER imagine when we are holding onto things that He is clearly saying “let go” to!!!
So at that point in my life, the Lord had my complete attention. I was seeking Him, His Spirit was moving greatly in my heart, and leading me to let go of this thing, this hope, this plan, this purpose, this desire that I had with this guy and for my life and my son’s life. And like a flash of lightening, all of a sudden, one day, in late fall of 2013, I saw that everything I had ever wanted from that guy were things that only Jesus Christ could ultimately give me!
Everything I thought I could only find in marrying that guy was ultimately to be found in Jesus Christ, and in letting go of what I so desperately wanted!
And the Lord granted right then and right there what was needed: the grace to let go from my heart this guy, the desire to marry him, the desire for my son to have a father and his own father at that, and for a little life here on earth of my own making, a kingdom built on the sand that would have surely been broken to the ground had it ever come about!
And then I was FREE! Free for the Lord to have ALL of my heart! Free to live only for His purposes and no longer my own! Free to desire what the Lord desired! And free from the bondage to a want and desire for this life and for my own pleasure and satisfaction!
Joy and peace became my reality! The Lord filled my heart! It was glorious!
So let’s be clear that at some point, if we are truly walking with the Lord, He will show us plainly that what we need to do in this situation is LET GO of whatever it is that is causing us to do and feel these things! For that is the Spirit of Christ, the Grace of Christ —- that He came and humbled Himself, LETTING GO of EVERYTHING, becoming even obedient unto death, that LIFE might be made available to all! He had to LET GO of everything, and that is the “grace of Christ Jesus” we read of in Philippians 2!
So if the Spirit of Christ is truly living in us, He will lead us the same way that He led the Lord Jesus, in letting go of all, that life and increase may result not only in our life but in those of others!
(P.s His wife (now ex-wife sadly) has become one of my best friends and I have come to be the most grateful and thankful soul that the Lord DID NOT allow me to marry that man!)
The Purpose Of Letting Go
The purpose of the Lord leading us to let go of things that we are holding onto is in order to trade us the Heavenly things!
He would have us give up what is of earth and of time for the heavenly, eternal riches!!!
The Lord wasn’t going to lead me into the fuller purposes He had on my life and existence while I was clinging to a want and desire that was NOT in His will for me! Do you see friends?
Now, it may not even be such major things as what I went through in my life. It can be something very little that we would never even imagine we were holding onto in a wrong way. I’ve wrote it a million times — if we even so much as have selfish wants and desires that we are seeking in our marriage, family, jobs, or in any way — it is wrong! Sometimes it can be GOOD THINGS even that we are holding onto!
Think of even just wanting to spend time with our husbands. Maybe they are going through something in life and they just want to be alone everyday. Are we getting upset because we are holding onto what WE want from them (their time and attention)? or are we of the Spirit of Jesus Christ that lets go of all its own rights and wants, that others may benefit and life be increased and that we may enjoy freely the things of Heaven, whether we have any earthly good or not?
That is what the Lord is doing with us all!
- He is allowing things to fall apart.
- He allows our spouse to be indifferent towards us.
- He allows our children to be rebellious.
- He allows our jobs to feel anything but satisfying.
It is all in order that we might NEVER SEEK in THESE THINGS what only can be found in HEAVEN with Him!! And these heavenly riches are for us to enjoy NOW, if we have a mind set on the Lord, His purposes, and the things of Heaven!
You might say,’ well what can be given in replacement for getting our husband’s time and attention that we so want?’ And I testify that when our heart is truly detached from all the cares and wants of this life and world, the Lord fills our hearts with such a joy and peace that those other things are NOTHING compared to what we have in Christ!
And if you have not experienced this trade for the Heavenly riches in the heart, then I pray you will seek the Lord, ask Him to show you what you need to let go if you are experiencing this right now, that He may free you from it all, and have your heart to Himself, that He may come in, and when He comes in, Heaven comes with Him sister, and NOTHING else compares to it!!!
The Lord had other plans my friend. Way better plans than ours! If we will just let go, and let Him be God, we will come into the life He has called us to, and His blessings in our heart will be worth far more than gold! 🙂