The Unsatisfied Wife

The Unsatisfied Wife

I know from personal experience that, unless the Lord, by the Spirit, reveals to our hearts any truth, we can read and hear it all year long, but it will never have any true change in us. Unless the Lord by the Spirit reveals something to us in our hearts by direct revelation — it will all be just some more words. So I pray that if you are reading this, that the Lord will speak to your heart by the Spirit if there is anything He is wanting to say to you!

Unsatisfied

I don’t know about other christians, but for me, I can remember my whole life being one of an unsatisfying nature. It just didn’t matter what I possessed in life —-  none of it has ever satisfied my longing soul. 

There were times, or seasons, where life seemed “great” because things were going my way, but all of that came crashing down the minute things stopped going my way! There was never any true, lasting satisfaction.

And there never will be if I am looking for it in anything that is not the LORD.

This is something I believe ALL christians will come to learn for themselves if they belong to the Lord! We realize that seeking to have our souls truly satisfied in anything other than the Lord Himself is a vain pursuit.

But what about when we know this, but still don’t experience satisfaction from the Lord?

That is when we have to see that the reason is because we don’t actually BELIEVE what we know to be true : which is that the Lord alone is going to satisfy our longing soul.

Even after realizing by revelation from the Spirit that satisfaction comes only from knowing the Lord, I have still fallen from this and have been caught in what seemed like a never ending cycle of discontentment!

What was holding me down when I knew the truth?

It was the fact that I believed that something else other than God alone would satisfy my longing soul.

I knew in my mind that only the Lord could satisfy me. Yet, in my heart, I believed that other things and not God alone would bring me the satisfaction I desired.

And this was all because I had my heart set on other things and not set on the Lord alone, that I fell into this trap repeatedly, even after knowing the truth!

Some things our heart may be set on other than the Lord and glorifying Him:

  • having a more intimate relationship with our husband
  • having life be the way we want (ex- husband always working, having a pain-free life, etc.)
  • having children
  • having more money
  • living in a certain place
  • feeling happy
  • being healthy and beautiful
  • have a husband who is godly
  • having a husband who is affectionate
  • having a husband who worships you
  • having your husband’s sole attention all the time
  • having sunshine when you live in a 4-seasons climate
  • having more friends and outside life
  • being busy
  • always getting enough sleep at night and feeling good every day
  • being able to control life and the outcome of situations

We can literally set our hearts on anything and anyone else other than the Lord, and it only leads to sorrow and misery!

Don’t Be Deceived 

Not sure if you are in the same boat? But you definitely are lacking the peace, joy, and fellowship with God through Christ lately? Perhaps you know something is not right, and that you feel extremely discontent, but you are not sure why.

Here are some definite signs that you have fallen into the Unsatisfied category:

  • You don’t realize it, but you can be extremely bitter towards God or your husband which is leading you to feel completely unsatisfied in life
  • Bitterness spreads into all kinds of sins and usually begins with complaining and being very ungrateful for what you have in life. You can feel so ungrateful and focus on the one thing you don’t have, when you are completely blessed and surrounded by everything you could possibly need and more. But you are completely clouded by bitterness most likely from not getting your own way or being hurt by your husband, that all you can think about is how much it hurts, and how much things are not the way you want them to be!
  • You have become completely self-centered! All you think about is what you need, what you want, and what you are not getting! You are consumed by thoughts of how wrongly you are/have been treated. You are focusing on all the things God has NOT done for you, instead of all He HAS done. You only think about what your husband and God can do for you, instead of how you can do good to your husband, and how you can love and trust God.
  • And eventually, you end up in extreme sorrow and feeling like all is hopeless. You begin to despair of life because you are so consumed by self-centered thoughts, and bitterness, that you can no longer see the light of day and realize how truly blessed you really are! Your thoughts can become so distorted by bitterness, selfishness, and sorrow, that you perceive your life to be something that it totally is not.
  • You lose all joy in God, in life, and you become a self-pitying woman who spreads her attitude to everyone else in the family. The more you focus on yourself, the more joy you lose!
  • You may end up using vengeance as a way to try to feel better, and feel justified in the way you are behaving because all you are thinking about anyway is how hurt you are, or how unfair your life is!

I have found myself in this ungodly situation too many times and it needs to stop! I became so totally clouded by all of these things, that I no longer could see my own sin, and repent. I could no longer see that I had my heart set on other things and that unless I let them all go, I could not find the true satisfaction in the Lord.

How did I come out of this mess?

I knew something was wrong. The Spirit was not silent inside of me. He kept showing me how self-centered I was being, but I kept brushing it off because I was holding onto bitterness and what I wanted!

But the more I did that, the more I became full of sorrow and lost all hope! I was lying around like a miserable old dog who is just waiting to die! I found no life, or joy, or energy in anything. I was just miserable! And I let this misery spill out onto my husband and child, and it just became unbearable to live!

Even when I realized the truth, and what I needed to do, which was repent, and let go of what I wanted, and stop focusing on myself —- I couldn’t do it!

New Thinking

Then, the Lord reminded me that if it was going to change, it would all have to start in my mind again. I realized that the way I was thinking over the past 5 months has been anything but God-centered!

All of my thoughts were about myself and what I needed and what I wanted and how much I wasn’t getting these things!

Even though I am extremely blessed in every way possible in this life, I could not see it or find joy or have a grateful attitude because I was consumed by self-centered thoughts that only led to sinful actions!

And this is when I realized that I needed to seek the Lord to change my heart and grant me true repentance. I realized that if anything was going to happen, it would be because I humbled myself, and asked the Lord to show me the truth again. And He is faithful when we pray according to His will!

And so He did show me again, He did put the new thoughts in my mind, and showed me how self-centered I was being, which was causing this whole cycle of unsatisfaction and discontentment. And then godly sorrow which leads to repentance emerged in my heart and I found the Lord with open arms! He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins if we confess them.

But this time, I also realized that in order to truly CHANGE this cycle — I had to seriously change my thinking again.

I have to purposefully:

  • Remind myself that this life is not for me, but for the Lord’s glory ultimately
  • Think about how much the Lord has blessed me with and thank Him for it!
  • Reject the thoughts that are obviously coming from the devil and powers of darkness (e.g ‘Your husband doesn’t love you’, ‘There is no point to this life’) and take an ATTITUDE against these lies and thoughts, and replace them with the TRUTH from God’s word!

And then I see that when I accept any self-centered thoughts, and any lies from the enemy, I am opening the door completely for the flesh to take over and lead me astray from the Lord and from everyone around me!

And at first, it seemed too painful to truly turn from the wrong thoughts — and that’s how I knew it was my FLESH that was in total control and not the Spirit! The flesh doesn’t WANT to DIE! The flesh wants to be justified and fed and nursed all the way to full blown death and destruction!

This was the turning point for me friends : I felt deep within me that I hated how I was behaving and thinking, and all I wanted was to change and stop it! But at the same time — I realized how painful it would be to give up holding onto what I wanted and thought would make me so satisfied!!!

But it turns out to be the ONLY WAY !

The Answer

I kept getting the same answer —- I am looking in all the wrong places for life, joy, satisfaction, hope , etc. Only in GOD will I find all my soul truly longs for! I was discontent because I kept looking for something that can only be found in GOD!

And when I forgot this — It led to sin, which led to guilt, which led to depression. That really is the cycle of discontentment. God has all GOOD things to give — If I will only look to Him for them!

Looking for satisfaction in this world, in this life, in the things of the earth — circumstances, pleasure — will never answer to our soul’s longing.

It is only found in salvation that Jesus Christ offers us! But when we realize and experience this — we can’t forget that we will therefore NEVER find satisfaction in anything else then!

Only when we look to God alone do we find true joy. All good has come from Him. He is the owner of all the earth — He created everything. He gives and takes away! And when we look to Him, and our expectation is from Him alone — then we are free to find life and peace and satisfaction as we think only on Him and His goodness!

But when we are looking in everything else to find what only God can truly give, we will only find sorrow, misery, and despair!

Trust me, this is the last thing I wanted to hear too when I was holding onto my own thoughts and thinking only about what I wanted and wasn’t getting in life!

Sooner or later — something’s gotta give!

If you find yourself totally unsatisfied today, just remember that God is in control, He knows what we need, and He has delivered us from OUR SELF by the Cross of Jesus Christ. It is our responsibility to stand upon this FACT, and change our thoughts to be GOD-CENTERED and no longer centered on ourselves and what we want! Let us be thankful for all we DO have, and remember that it is from God alone!

 

RELATED:

Why Am I Never Happy?

Day 1- Test Your Heart For Idols!

Day 5- Letting Go Of All Things To Gain Christ

Day 12- Dealing with Bitterness

From Fear to Faith!

A Heart Searching Question

Dead To Self-Interest, Alive Unto God

My Life Is A Mess

Losing Your Appetite For All Except God

Is Your Heart Hunger Truly Satisfied?

 

 

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