This is a real experience that many women face: watching their husbands trying to fill a void in their life and heart by many and varied things, when it should be being filled with Christ.
Sometimes husbands say they are saved and that they believe in God—-but even the demons believe. I’m not saying this to discourage anyone, but the proof is always in the actions and not in the words of a person. If our husband has said he believes, but is continuously trying to fill a void in his heart with things like drinking, the internet, worldly hobbies such as tv, sports, etc., or in any other way trying to fill this void—–then let us pay attention and see what the Lord means by this.
Signs He is Trying To Fill A Void
There are some ways we can honestly tell that our husbands have a hole in their heart that they are trying to fill.
If our husband has ever said things like:
- “I have no life”
- “All we do is stay home”
- “I have no friends. All I do is work and come home and sleep.”
- “What’s the point of this life?”
- “Sometimes I want to just go back to my old way of life” (sometimes they don’t even say this and just DO IT!)
…………….then let us be aware that they are really saying that they are not satisfied or content in their life as it is. This is a red flag that their heart is in serious turmoil!
If our husband has increasingly:
- started drinking alcohol
- watching tv
- started playing video games
- started spending money on things that are not necessary but that he just “wants”
- spent more time on the computer (facebook or anything like this)
- focused on the things of this world in any way
……………then let us also recognize that they are obviously trying to fill something, a void in their heart and life by these things.
When our husbands start heading down this path, it will become increasingly clear that they are unhappy with their lives. They may even start getting irritated with us for being worried about them, and they might withdraw from us because they are not happy and they don’t want to be around anyone who is actually happy.
The Hard Part
The hard part about this situation is that, if our husband truly believes, but is not being satisfied by Christ alone in his life, he will start to try to fill that void in these other ways and it will become harder and harder for him to turn back to the Lord and to see that it is all vain and that the only thing that will satisfy that thing in his heart is the Lord and His Life!
If our husband is not a believer, then it is even harder to see him trying to get from all these other things what only God in Christ can give him!
Instead of becoming jealous of his time given to these things, or getting worried that he doesn’t love us anymore or wants nothing to do with us—let us recognize that he is just trying to fill a void in his heart that can only be satisfied by the Lord!
This will be our greatest temptation during this time: to believe he doesn’t love us or care about us anymore or that he is not interested in us. Because he is giving his time and attention to everything other than us, we will definitely have to conclude that he no longer is interested and is not happy with us. Sisters, take my warning because I have failed over this time and time and time again. I can’t see past the truth and allow these feelings to totally take over! There comes in jealousy in my heart and I lose all control of myself. It is not worth it. Because then what happens is we start mentioning to him that he is not giving us any of his attention or time and he starts drawing further away than before! It turns bad really fast—so if you are in this situation—-fight with all the might of the Lord to not give in to those thoughts and feelings! It will be disastrous!!!!!
What he needs is the Lord Jesus!
Our hope in this time is the fact that we have the Life of Christ in our own hearts, and we are truly satisfied with Him! We have joy when there is no reason for it. We have peace and contentment when our husband’s don’t. If we are truly walking by faith in the Spirit, then the Life of Christ will be manifesting through us. And it is by this that the Lord draws all people to Himself! That is our hope!
Instead of allowing our husband’s issue take over our hearts and steal our peace and contentment, let us stay rooted and grounded in the Life of Christ, so that His Life will emanate from within us, and draw our husband’s to Himself!
It may not happen overnight, but the Word is clear that there is a possibility for us to draw our husbands to the Lord as they watch our life in the Lord day by day! When the fruit of the indwelling Christ is increasing more and more in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control—– our husband is bound to see this miraculous effect of the Life of Christ in us! Whether he responds to it and realizes Christ by this, is totally in the hands of the Lord. But it is our hope!
If our husband is in this situation, let us pray for him, and ask the Lord to realize His purposes in our husbands life and heart for His glory alone! 🙂